5 Horrible Games (Nintendo DS)

I don't know if this will become a "thing". But, it will be easier to do quick reviews on games. Some games are so horrible it is unnecessary to do a review. Of course, second opinions are always welcome and you may feel free to defend your favorites in the comments below. Sadly most of the "horrible" games I have played are geared towards females so do not feel offended and understand I am by no means sexist.  The review are after the Jump~


1. Hello Kitty: Big City Dreams

It is hard to expect great things from a "Hello Kitty" game. Especially after all the bad "girl" games that have come out and failed to deliver anything close to cute. This is no different than the rest of them. Hello Kitty: Big City Dreams is an adventure game geared to young girls and it is very obvious in that nature. The look of the game is comparable to a cheap Game Boy Color title with choppy movements and  painfully repetitive sounds. Your goal is to make enough money to live in a pent house, which you can achieve by doing small mini games. That had to be the best and most interesting part of the whole thing, but I have played better games in the "accessories" selection on my computer. When Solitaire becomes bad ass, you know there is a problem.  The mini games give you points for your pent house and to dress up Hello Kitty in cute new outfits. However, the outfits and bedroom "theme" changes are incredibly easy. I got every item within an hour of playing.  Apart from the obvious problems, playing mini games could become very stressful as well. There is no way to escape till you had finished the entire thing! I found it out the hard way and lost my progress because I felt trapped playing the game and couldn't go to sleep till I saved. I played every mini game in the game itself and found only two of them really measured up. First, Cinnamon roll needs help in the ice cream parlor. This game involved just flinging different colored ice cream to the appropriate colored cone. Easy, fun and it didn't take long. Just as a mini game should be. Second, making sushi and delivering it Diner Dash style. I am not sure what the pig characters name was who was involved in it all, but it was very straight forward and just a jot more challenging than the rest. Overall, the game deserves it's one star. I don't recommend it and I wont ever be playing it again.

2. The Sims 2


This would have to be the first Sims game I have played up to this point that has a story line. This also would have to be the first Sims game I have played that ever disappointed me to such a degree I wanted to burn it. The story starting out in a western, desert area in the middle of no-where in a place called Strangetown. Your car coincidentally breaks down and you are soon driven into having to run a hotel. The choices as far as your Sims look is very limited compared to most Sims games and I couldn’t even get any pleasure out of decorating my Sims room. Meeting a few interesting characters along your little ‘journey” the highlight of the game is playing a few mini-games, Taking out bad guys from time to time, and collecting cash off things you find in the desert as well as the people you check in and out of the hotel.

There are aspirations for your Sims similar to that of Sims 2 (PC) but you aren’t just watching over this little person. You are literally moving them about through the game and guess what? You can’t kill off your Sims. Boo. There is obvious use of the D-pad and other DS features in the game such as making music. (You could hardly call these little jingles music but that’s what the box says.) Make Masterpieces on the D-pad and display them in the gallery. (Great for you pixel artists out there.) And then last, you can play “Alien Autopsy”. A cheap little game failing to compete at the surgical game, Trauma Center.

3. Pop Cutie! Street Fashion Simulation

As a game geared to girls it has loads of potential to be very great. This is an example of what major developers are doing right and doing wrong in their aim to girls in the gaming field. The entire idea of managing a fashion store and creating their own designs is exactly what draws in many feminine aspects. "Girly-girls" as a whole would have enjoyed this game. If not for what they did wrong. The controls are horribly choppy and the characters do not run smoothly together. Load times are to slow and the actual art involved with the game is horrible. The concept is good and reminds me of a simulated store game. But, the lack of good/cute art and choppy game play didn't help it.

The idea of the game is to be a fashion designer and store owner. You create fashion items by talking to people on the street and using key words they say to match up later to create random articles of clothing. From there you put your fashion item on your store floor and try to beat your other major competitors on the sales floor.

4. Diary Girl


Of all the useless games I have played, this is by far the most useless junk I ever tried. It is a poor attempt to branch out to girls and games, but the main thing that bothers me most about this is that it isn't even a game at all. It really is just a Diary and an Instant Messenger for the all of 1 friend who MIGHT have the game. The concept of it being a diary is interesting but honestly could you type your whole diary in your iphone? Didn't think so. The keyboard would work in concept if not for the hand cramping and misspelling that takes place in just writing a sentence. I can't speak for other gamers, but when it comes to just writing my name down for a game it takes a long time. Try writing a whole diary worth of information. On a upside to this, there are minigames. However, they are probably the saddest attempt at minigames I ever saw. All tucked in with "girly" hot pinks, Bright Greens, Blues and Oranges. Horrible game, do not waste your money.

5. Assassins Creed: Altairs Chronicles 

This game is pretty much at the bottom of the barrel as far as games go. Don't be fooled by the Assassin Creed title and pretty start up screen, the cake is a lie. The in game action is NOTHING like the other Assassins Creed game. The graphics are absolutely horrible, and are nothing but badly done pixel sprites. It is an easy game, so that might be a positive. But, it isn't really worth the time.The story is kind of boring and one dimensional, and it doesn't stand on it's own two feet as it's own game. Rather, it sort of totters along behind the franchise. This is an example of a game geared to just sell. This wasn't meant to be a hit title, just a money maker from naive fanboys. Some games could be suggested to younger and inexperienced gamers; however, I wouldn't even let a child play with the messy controls. Great job Ubisoft, another crappy hand held game.